Mentoring relationships that deliver most value for both mentor and mentee are characterised by a number of behaviours:

• Openness – both parties are able to speak openly and without fear of feeling embarrassed
• Purposefulness – there is a clear sense of direction, although not necessarily very specific goals
• Challenge – they are prepared to question the accuracy and logic of what each other says
• Emotional engagement – they communicate on both rational and emotional levels; both are willing to share and explore emotional dimensions of issues raised
• They respect each other’s time – in particular by ring-fencing mentoring sessions in their diaries
• They view the mentoring relationship as much wider than the formal meetings – to include ad hoc interactions
• They spend adequate time preparing before each mentoring session and in reflection afterwards
• They have a “bias to action” – it’s not just a talking shop; the mentee commits to actions and follows through on them
• They combine being serious with being enjoyable – the conversations are often both stimulating and fun, even though the topic itself may be serious.